mt

15yearold:

*dramatically falls down on my bed after a long day of sitting on the couch*

kamikatlifts:


IT’S. A. FUCKING. TURTLE.

kamikatlifts:

IT’S. A. FUCKING. TURTLE.

posted 1 hour ago with 184,876 notes via heckayeah and

whorecrux-harry:

"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills

thottie:

srslywhocares:

Let’s show up uninvited to a public place! #anarchy

2001 is sacred

raging-woodcock:

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.

andrewquo:

rock out with your cock out

jam out with your clam out

posted 1 hour ago with 6,087 notes via andrewquo

What To Do When Your Boyfriend’s Asshole Best Friend Says, “Hey, Never Trust Anything That Bleeds For Seven Days And Doesn’t Die,
Right?”
OR The Only Poem I’ll Ever Write About Periods.

Don’t excuse him because he’s had
at least three lite beers
and is sweating through his black button down
that his mom or exgirlfriend
probably bought him.
Don’t excuse him because he’s been turned down
by the last six girls he went on dates with
after meeting them on tindr
with a picture that’s seven years old
Don’t excuse him because
he’s usually such a nice guy
because you don’t want to be a bitch
because you don’t want to cause a scene
because when you were seventeen
your sister told you
no one likes an angry feminist

Tell him,
Hey, Asshole:
Let me explain something to you.
Every goddamn motherfucking month since I was eleven,
a part of me
tore itself to shreds
ripped itself apart inside me
and then remade itself.

So yes, I bleed for seven days
and I don’t die
You know what else can do that?
Gods.
Immortal beings.
Things of legend.
Fuck, I can even
create life.

So I say, never trust anything that can’t
bleed for seven days and not die.
You know what that makes it?
Weak
Fallible
Mortal.
So let’s see, hon,
What you’re made of.
If you can bleed for seven days
and not die.

Rip out his jugular with your teeth.
And when he bleeds for seven seconds
and dies,
spit on his corpse and say,
I thought not.

— Katherine Tucker  (via perfect)

mariahcareys:

when you’ve been swimming and water is in your ear

image

❝ We don’t talk anymore and you don’t seem to care. ❞

— A 10-word story  (via icy-brunette)
posted 1 hour ago with 272,850 notes via d0nn0 and fkvn

❝ im gonna start working on this in 10 minutes no exceptions ❞

— me fucking lying to myself  (via sann-lykke)
britney2007spears:

that has to be the ugliest way to cut a carrot congratulations

britney2007spears:

that has to be the ugliest way to cut a carrot congratulations

valvala:

im a man and i LOVE sitting on GIANT BALLSACKS

valvala:

im a man and i LOVE sitting on GIANT BALLSACKS